hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
