i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize