I hate all girls vehemently.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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