we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
