Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
