I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
