the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
