omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
