my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i already hear my dad disowning me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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