one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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