They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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