I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
