ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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