Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
