I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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