There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Randomize