Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
