careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
