Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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