the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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