my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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