he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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