If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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