It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
