It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
