Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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