There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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