i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
