im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
