Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
