Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
