Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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