were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
