i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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