He is an equal opportunity slut.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
