..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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