If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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