Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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