Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
