Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize