He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
