I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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