alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
