you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
