no. you can't hotbox the world.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize