Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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