So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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