Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
