either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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