my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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