There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
