We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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