Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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