well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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