Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize