Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i now understand why vodka
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
