is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
