so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
