Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
