but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
