I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
